your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
