Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
