I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's just like the Real World with babies
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
