I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
