Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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