i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
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On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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