More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
