hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
