i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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