i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize