he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
