when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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