He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
