you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
