last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize