i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
