hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize