I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
