my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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