It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
