So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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