idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
