I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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