The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
