I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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