Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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