i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
