Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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