Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
