The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
