Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My hand turned me down
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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