Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
