I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
