i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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