i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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