Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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