Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
