Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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