That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
