I wish I could teleport
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
