oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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