Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
