On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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