so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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