White coat. Heels.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
