the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.