God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.