Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
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I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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