so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
