At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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