No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
