No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
