i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
