You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize