dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
