thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
His hands were made for my vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
