I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
