I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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