drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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