i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize