Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
