operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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