I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I intend to get homeless drunk
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
