Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize