new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
