She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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