i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I didn't notice because vodka
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
