I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
